04 Dec A Note to My Future Self on One of the Bad Days
Having a bad day does not mean you are failing at life.
You’ve had to get used to the fact lately that you are in a stressful stage in your life. You are going to have more bad days than good and that is okay, you can even be happy despite it. Since you were young I know you had always had this vision that living a successful life meant that you were always happy, that you didn’t cry anymore, you didn’t ever get anxiety and that if you really didn’t want to do something you just simply didn’t have to do it. But that isn’t the case and you’ve had a lot of days recently where you’ve just had to breakdown, had to let yourself cry, let yourself be angry and then be okay that these feelings weren’t just going to disappear by the morning.
So as I am writing this, I am mostly writing for the future Celina, the one who undoubtedly will have a bad again and will need the reminder that these days don’t mean she is failing at life. It means that you are living it! Life is all about the ups and downs, the good and bad, the painful and the exhilarating. What would we have if we didn’t experience both? Feeling a rollercoaster of emotions means that your are alive. There is a gratitude within that. A gratitude for the capacity to feel. To feel the depths of the lows and the heights of the highs.
You can cry and still be grateful for the tears, you can smile and still feel pain, you can struggle on your path but still enjoy the journey. You can find comfort in the spaces where you just need to be left alone, it is okay to be there, and it may be exactly where you are meant to be.
So to future Celina… you’re doing alright.